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Welcome to my blog. Here you'll get a glimpse into my life's passions! Hope you enjoy and thanks for stopping by!

What 2016 meant to me - Happy New Year!

What 2016 meant to me - Happy New Year!

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Be still my child and rest in me was the softly spoken words one evening in December of 2015, the  two years leading up to this moment were the most gut wrenching years of my entire life. I endured pain I never thought I could ever imagine. There was so much I felt I lost and was continuing to lose. I felt defeated and worthless. I felt unlovable, betrayed and a terrifying darkness surrounded me. I couldn't escape it, I was to weak to pray myself out of this pit and even came close to taking my own life. Seconds before turning my wheel towards oncoming traffic, God's grace flooded my car with his presence and his supernatural power consumed me and I felt a warmth embrace. He began to overwhelm me with numerous pictures of my children and memories of their laughter. As tears ran down my face, and as I somehow reached the nearest gas station to pull myself together I cried out to him and said,  'Lord, please help me!' Make this pain stop and help me find your peace! I need you now!' 

That December evening feeling  empty and nervously awaiting the start of 2016, there was one very small spark of hope. God himself had been holding me and carrying me day by day since I encountered him that day in my car. It would be the year my prayer would be answered. New Year's Eve was a blur as I was mostly going through the motions, but one thing that I was certain was that I had heard his voice clearly and that all I had ever wanted I was determined to receive in 2016. It was going to be my year of self acceptance, self love, and most importantly it was going to be the year I completely surrendered to God's will for my life. I didn't know how or where I'd begin but I had hope and honestly I was tired of being tired. I wanted nothing more than to rest and be in his peace. Feel his peace like never before and that was my goal. I don't believe in resolutions but rather in thoughtful prayer requests. I learned that my sole purpose and being was to seek Him first and He would direct my path. 

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I completely trust the one who holds tomorrow.

So when I sat down and gathered my thoughts, I began to write in my journal. I wrote down my prayer requests. I wrote down that I wanted Him to help me be the wife my husband needed and the mother my children needed. I wrote that I wanted to respond to His call of direction without hesitation. That I wanted to seek His will for my life and nothing else. That I would show love to others the way he has loved me and extend grace to others the way he has always done for me. That I would be content in every situation and not question Him. To trust him in my anxiousness and praise him in the midst of my worry. To declare his goodness even if my physical eyes saw different. I committed to wake up each day and bring him a heart of gratitude rather than to bring him a laundry list  of complaints. 

I knew these prayers would be a challenge for me, but I also new with God's help I'd be good. I was excited and looking forward to his promptings. I was looking forward to our new found friendship. I was excited to encounter him in new ways. I wasn't afraid anymore, I wanted to be at the end of the chapter but I had to wait patiently. And so I did...

I know that 2016 was many things for others and especially for our country. I felt our country became more divided than I've ever seen it in my 37 years of life. Every time I'd turn on the television or scroll through any of my social media feeds all I saw and felt was so much hate. There was no compassion for one another and honestly it was so overwhelming for me to see. I even took some time off the web and didn't even turn the tv on so that I could only focus on the One who holds it all. I didn't want to add to the dissension but become a voice of light. When someone is in fear, is broken down or is weary. The last thing they need is confusion, hate and judgement. 

So I set my mind to do just that, I focused on moving in God's momentum, I began to put him first each day. I'd wake up thankful and in meditation. I attended church and really committed to seeking his word. I just remember having so much peace and believe me all things were far from perfect but looking back now, I don't remember feeling anxious or fearful as I have always felt in the past. I had his overwhelming peace and I was so thankful. I can't explain it but just to say I had found rest in him and in the moments when I physically was alone and years past felt emotionally alone, I now felt whole in him. I could feel him holding and carrying me. It was such a beautiful embrace. Such as when you hurt yourself and your father comes to pick you up and just carry you in his arms and tenderly comforts all the pain away. 

I was in his arms, I'm still in his arms and now when the storm comes I know not to worry because the one who calms the storm is my daddy. It's crazy because all that at one point could have cost me my life, I now know that he was there with me. He was there giving me his strength and his grace to overcome it. Now I can openly share with whomever he calls me to about my struggles that have now become my victories. I able to be honest and true without fear of judgement or anyones approval because it says in Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; You see this is my truth and the enemy cannot take away the goodness of God's grace and love in all of my circumstances. 

You see the more I draw to the one who has given me this peace above all else, there will always be victory. The same I say to you my dear friends, I don't know what 2016 was for you or what you faced. I don't know what we have to look forward to in 2017 or what we will face as well, but what I do know is that I would want to face anything in his love, grace and arms. I'd rather look forward to this year drawing even closer to him then last year. Seeking more of his goodness, strength and word so that I could have the grace to overcome what the enemy tries to throw at me this year. 

Know that you are not alone in this, he is here with you. He sees all and knows your heart. He is your ultimate solution. He is your victory as he has been for me. He is the father of grace, love and restoration. There is so much more that I want to share but I will leave it for another post :) Happy New Year and may God's love and blessings be with you all! 

Here are a couple of my anthem 2016 songs <3

 

Life was formed in Your hands
You alone tell my story
All my hours like sand
I surrender all

Through the battle I’ll sing
Lord, I know You are for me
My whole heart I will bring
I surrender all

CHORUS
In You I find rest, I find rest, in You I find rest
In You I find rest, I find rest, in You I find rest

In my deepest of fears
In my hours of weakness
From an ocean of tears
I surrender all

For Your word is my sword
And Your arms are my fortress
I know victory is Yours
I surrender all

CHORUS

Though the darkness falls
And the storms are raging
I will find my shelter in You, in You
Fount of mercy new
God of love unchanging
Now my heart is resting in You

CHORUS

Life was formed in Your hand
You alone tell my story
All my hours like sand
I surrender all

 

Father God, I pray that those who are reading this for what ever reason, I ask that you meet there just where they are. I pray that 2017 is their year! That this is the year of abundance, growth, prosperity, comfort, peace and that they may encounter you in a whole new way. That they may feel your presence and not mistake the love that you so have for each of them. That in moments of weakness, in moments of loneliness they may know that you are their lifeline. That you are their only source and that you are all they need. Thank you Jesus for your goodness and never failing love. Thank you for never letting go and always saying yes. 

Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

How to enjoy your 37th!

How to enjoy your 37th!

Thinking of you, it's been five years!

Thinking of you, it's been five years!